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IT'S ALL IN THE ICING

What I really miss about beauty pageants of days gone by is that there was not really that great a difference between the contestants when they were "au natural" and when they were "all dolled up". More often than not the only difference was a bolder colour lipstick, a polka dot dress and perhaps a string of pearls.

The look at work or on the street or in the store was the look that you got on stage at a pageant. I've already said that the frock was smarter and the lipstick was brighter, but the girl looked the same before, during and after the pageant she was competing in. The same does not apply in present day pageants.

When one peruses Zed-cards or pageant profiles, and then sees the same girl in a candid picture, one often finds oneself saying "can she be...no ways is she" the same girl. With modern day photographic techniques, tools and devices, it is so easy to turn an absolute Plain Jane into a Prize Princess. And that's after all the accessories and gadgets that they use during the pageant.

There are hair extensions, false eyelashes, bump-its, pop-its, fix-its, cross your heart bra its, double-sided tape to keep down sticky-outy ears, duck tape to lift and pump boobs that really aren't there, plasticised panties to keep wobbly bits firm, elasticised stockings to flatten orange peel. The list goes on.

The perfect cake ends up looking just like the lop-sided cake when the icing is finished. In the end the icing, not the cake, is evaluated and awarded the prize. It's all in the icing.