It's been 30 years since the 1979 Miss World pageant at the Royal Albert Hall in London and so much has changed since then. I recall very clearly how I was able to predict 13 of the 15 semi-finalists by merely looking at the official swimsuit photograph. It was really simple. You looked at the face and looked at the figure, and if it was a good combination, chances were good that you could nearly match the judges choices. There were no allowances for regional, political or cultural representation, and if the prettiest 5 contestants with good figures came from Europe, then Europe occupied the Top 5 places at the end. Not so these days.
There has to be at least one contestant from every geographical region. The results are colour-coded, culturally coded, and now even economically coded. Contestants from potential host countries are favoured. The host contestant nearly always makes the cut as a token of gratitude to the host committee, and it really is one big shambles.
Let's not forget about the ridiculous fast-track events. By all means fast-track a contestant who is the best in swimsuit or the most photogenic or the best model. Those are all primary elements of a beauty pageant. But what the hell is a singer or dancer or juggler doing in the semi-final line-up? Have they never heard of Uzbekistan's Got Talent or Tajikistani Idol?
Don't even get me started on the Beauty with a Purpose fast-track winner. Sweetie, if you have a cause that you feel strongly about, jump into a safari suit and save those animals, orphans or trees. Don't parade around on a pageant stage in expensive frocks, high heels and jewellery and pretend to be a beauty queen.
I suppose I shouldn't take it out on the contestants. They're merely playing the game, conforming to the rules as laid out by the organisers. Just bear in mind that the only reason why the pageant has had to resort to a host of party tricks is because it's home country gave it the boot, and it had to appeal to a number of developing countries with a few pennies to spare to host the event.
In any event, who is going to make the cut and who isn't? To be honest, I have no idea. 30 years ago it would have been easy. Not so in 2009. Someone is bound to say that all or most of the favourites have made the cut in recent years. The issue is that 30 years ago a number of the so-called favourites would not have warranted a second look in the swimsuit line-up.
Observers and followers of the pageant have more or less become au fait with the motives and strategy of the organisers, and therefore base their selections on factors other than the traditional face and figure formula. The result is a high success rate at predicting the outcome. Bottom line is they've gotten good at casting roles rather than selecting the most beautiful contestants.
With all the aforementioned in mind, I guess the semi-final line-up will look something like this:
1: Miss Mexico
2: Miss Barbados
3: Miss France
4: Miss South Africa
5: Miss Vietnam
Miss Belgium
Miss Canada
Miss Dominican Republic
Miss Gibraltar
Miss Jamaica
Miss Japan
Miss Panama
Miss Puerto Rico
Miss Scotland
Miss Sierra Leone
Miss Sri Lanka
To be perfectly honest, I don't care much for at least 10 of the contestants from this list. I'm not going to go into detail since I don't have anything good to say about the contestants I feel will make the semi-finals for social, political, cultural or economic reasons, and if I do open my mouth, God will punish me and I'll go straight to hell. I will, however, be holding thumbs for Mexico, Vietnam and Brazil.
Oh! For once I don't care much for the contestant from Venezuela (or is it Venazualia as indictated on the Johannesburg Tourism site?). Sorry to say this, but she looks like a dude with long hair and boobs.
